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MARCH 10, 2006 -
John Yanni Christopher better known as Yanni is facing a domestic battery charge after he was arrested at his Florida home this past weekend. Silvia Barthes, who is sporting a cut lip, told police officers the musician shook her, before throwing her on the bed and jumping on top of her. Don't know how you feel but I was looking forward to my "One night In Yanni" bootleg dvd this summer. DAMN PIANIST!!!
Speaking of bootlegs, I heard that in Los Angeles , event producer Brian Quintana was granted a three-year restraining order against Paris Hilton last month after he testified that she harassed and threatened him after their friendship went the way of the buffalo. According to sources court commish Tim Murphy has signed off on an unusual restraining order against Hilton, ordering her to stay at least 100 yards away from Quintana - unless of course they're at a party together. According to court papers, the agreement stipulates that when they attend the same parties, "the stay-away distance may be shortened to 25 feet. Holy shit I wish I can make that story up... So is this what we are fighting for!!??!! Keep up the good job America!
Along with appearing in full drag at a San Francisco Giant spring training event. Barry Bonds has once again denied using the performance enhancing drug known simply as the cream.... I wonder what Pete Rose must be thinking... Oh and just for the record sports fans, Canseco was RIGHT!!!
MARCH 2, 2006 - Bob Geldof and U2 lead singer Bono are among the nominees for the 2006 Nobel Peace Prize. The man behind "Do They Know Its Christmas" is up for the award for organizing last year's Live 8 event, while Bono is on the list thanks to his human rights campaigning.Is it me or are they just giving this shit away at this point. I mean lets not kid ourselves here folks, I heard that just the other day Don Knotts was in the running for the prize, for his role as the bumbling landlord MR. Ralph Furley, until of course his untimely death over the weekend. If I were on the Nobel Peace Prize Voting Committee I would have to say FUCK this HUMANRIGHTS BULLSHIT,Im giving the prize to Kevin Federline only because its been almost 2 years and Britney hasn't dumped his sorry white ass yet...Up yours Timberlake!
Anyone else give a shit about American Idol this season?!? Good the downfall of reality television is finally upon us. I can finally watch reruns of MacGyver again as he turns a pair of underwear into a "Â bomb" instead of watching some wannabe actors eating pig shit for $50,000.
I cant believe football great Jerry Rice proclaimed that winning "Dancing With The Stars" would have been as great as winning the Superbowl. That's almost as bad as when Vice President Cheaney told Americans the worst day of his life was when he shot his 79 yr old hunting buddy in the face while quail hunting..NEWSFLASH MORON!! Remember September 11th Oh what does he know, he'just a DICK!!!
FEBRUARY 24, 2006 - The shirt Jake Gyllenhaal wore portraying gay cowboy Jack Twist in Academy Award-nominated "Brokeback Mountain" has sold for $101,100 on eBay this week. Are you fuckin' kidding me?!?! Man, I don't where the proceeds are going, $101,100 is $101,100 anyway you slice the bread. The only piece of Hollywood apparrel I would spend any dough on would have to be one of those pimped out JJ Walker turtlenecks from "Good Times" or maybe a Martin Short sombrero from the '80s comedy The Three Amigos." The bottom line is this, I'm not exceeding my $20 budget on some lame ass Hollywood sweat rag, especially if it has any leftover Heath Ledger man juice on it.
The sequel to Batman Begins is being talked about among movie buffs throughout the world, among the big stories is which two movie stars will be playing The Joker and Havey Dent aka Two Face in the upcoming superhero adventure. My sources have told me that Hugo Weaving and Hugh Jackman have been linked to the roles. Honestly I think both of these candidates suck. If I was in production I would take a long hard look at this decision and make the most logical of choices.. Sherman Helmsley as The Joker and Leslie Nielson as Two Face, there I said it. Instant summer blockbuster. DC and the kids running the bat cave can thank me in the morning.
I heard Tom Cruise is considering suing US magazine and Life & Style for claiming the actor had ended his high-profile relationship with Katie Holmes. Got a newsflash for you Mr. Cruise, Im thinking of suing you for the simple fact that I wasted two plus hours of my life watching your lame ass movie, War of the Worlds.
Does anyone care about Barry Bonds and his quest for the all-time home run crown? Bonds enters the season with 708 dingers, six behind Babe Ruth's 714 and 47 behind Hank Aaron's 755. Quite honestly I don't give a rat's ass about this HR chase. I wasted to many sleepless nights in the summer of '98 following the story of those other two jacked up phonies Mcgwire and Sosa only to learn that Sammy can't speak a lick of English and big mac doesn't like to talk about the past. What will Bond's story be in five years?!? Lets just hope he will be here to tell us.
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