Wednesday, February 14, 2007

The Lists...


The Lists...

By Albert Yankovich
Who needs Google when we do the research for you?

Famous People Born on February 29th
1. Pope Paul III
2. Dennis Farina
3. Pepper Martin
4. Pedro Zamora
5. Ja Rule
6. Henri Richard
7. Jimmy Dorsey
8. Antonio Sabato, Jr.
9. Tony Robbins
10. Richard Ramirez

Illinois Area Codes
1. 317
2. 224
3. 309
4. 312
5. 773
6. 618
7. 630
8. 708
9. 815
10. 847

Impress your family with your knowledge or sound cooler than any hipster!
When impressing people with your knowledge, title the list "Birds Native to Newfoundland." When impressing hipsters, call this list "Bands You Should Definitely Check Out!"
1.Red Throated Loon
2.Sooty Shearwater
3. Harlequin duck
4. Bufflehead
5. Gyrfalcon
6. Lesser yellowlegs
7. Ovenbird
8. Palm Warbler
9. Hermit Thrush
10. Solitary Sandpiper

Screen Names I considered But You Can use

1. JohnGoodmanfan14
2. SkinnyNHairy
3. OzzyOzzyOzzy
4. 3Hot3Handle
5. Evitewhore
6. DarthMarley
7. Deathtohestonmonkeyman
8. JohnGoodmanfan15
9. MeatballSchmeatball
10. muhammad_chang

MonkeyNauts: Monkeys in Space

Albert I-VI
Patricia
Mike
Abrek
Bion
Gordo "Old Reliable"
Able
Baker
Sam
Miss Sam
This list is dedicated to Goliath a squirrel monkey who died in the explosion of his atlas rocket on November 10,1961


Presidents Who Owned Slaves (Not Including Jefferson and Washington who owned slaves)
James Madison
James Monroe
Andrew Jackson
Martin Van Buren
William Henry Harrison
John Tyler
James Polk
Zachary Taylor
Andrew Johnson
Ulysses Grant


Move over Sliced Bread we have...10 Miracles of Science!
1. Spray on Hair
2. Polio Cure
3. E-bay
4. Potatoes Au Gratin in a box
5. Hot Air Balloons
6. Laser Eye Surgery
7. Kitty Litter Crystals
8. The Weather Channel
9. Lunchables
10. Jose Canseco

Fictional or Theoretical Cats
1. Chesire
2. Felix
3. Azrael
4. Hobbes
5. Scratchy
6. Schroedingers
7. Fix
8. Morris
9. Bill the Cat
10. Tom

Notable Jacks
1. Jack Daniels
2. Jack (and Jill)
3. Jack Nicholson
4. Jack The Ripper
5. Jack Tripper
6. Jack Kerouac
7. Jack of Hearts
8. Jack Black
9. Jack and the Beanstalk
10. Jack Johnson

Knock Knock Joke Punchlines
1. Utah Sight Utah Mind
2. Doris Locked thats why I had to knock
3. Ammonia a bird in a gilded cage
4. Goat to the door and find out
5. Aardvark a million miles for one of your smiles
6. Keith me and find out
7. Is there an owl in here?
8. Orange you glad I didn't say banana?
9. Candice get any better?

10. Sherlock your door!

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